Sunday, November 14, 2010

death knocks again

Death knocks on the door again ... no we won’t open it, not this time. The world feels like it’s spinning out of control. 
Last week my family lost yet another beautiful young soul. Within three and a half months of another two of us in the family have had to claim the title of widow and widower. Those are words that at our young age just should not exist in our vocabulary. Yet in an instant a split second in time we have become experts on the term. 
Now death threatens again, just one week later. My uncle, my moms only brother was found last night on the side of the road. Bloody and bashed with trauma to the head... he’s in the hospital now having emergency brain surgery. 
I have not been angry with God up until this point. I am still not angry with God. But, I feel like I’m being pushed to the edge of a cliff. I feel like the universe is playing a trick on me to see how far I can be pushed until I fall over. 
 I have gone numb again. My brain knows I should be worried and I should be a basket case, and I should be pacing the the hall until I get good news... Until I get the news that the surgery went well and he’s recovering just fine. But no I sit on the couch numb and void of emotion. It makes me feel like a robot or a zombie with no soul. 


  1. dear Lacey, dear soul, i do not know what to say in the face of this latest tragedy. i pray your uncle comes through the surgery and recovers. that is all i have. i am thinking of you, praying for you and your family, and wish for all the world that your life was different. i wish you peace.

  2. I think no matter how are you are pushed you will continue on, not for you but for Elliot and his memories.

    How is your uncle? And your family? You've already shown your immense strength by taking trips to not only help your family during your time of need but finding resources that work for you and understanding what you need during this time. I'm rooting for you, not giving up.

    Sending love